Guiding nonconformist overachievers navigating midlife burnout and crisis, seeking peace, purpose, and a renewed sense of direction. If you wish to receive my emails, subscribe below...
The most liberating question you can (but probably won't) ask yourself
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Reader, This is the most depressing question.Or is it? Could it be ultimately the most liberating? I'll argue that it is. Two years ago, I had a coaching call with someone I know well. At that point, I would have qualified him as an ambitious overachiever. Not only did he have huge ambitions. He also had huge standards for himself. If he didn't achieve according to his standards, he'd be hard on himself. As usual, his standards arose from witnessing other overachievers crush big goals. Naturally, he was comparing himself to those others. And was using the result to consistently feel bad about "constantly missing the mark." So, in that conversation, I asked him: "What if I was God and I told you right now that you will never ever achieve any of your goals? Ever! It's guaranteed. By ME - God!"He tried. He really tried... But he couldn't stomach the question. The mere contemplation threatened to strip his entire existence of meaning. After all, what's the point of living if I can't (or won't) ever achieve any of my goals and dreams? Life sans meaning! And that's the story of most (if not all) achievers today. It was my story too - a decade ago. Yesterday, I had a conversation with this individual. He still has big goals and dreams. But he's not attached at all to them happening. He is at peace. His action is fueled by intention, not by need. His life is no longer defined by things having to happen in a certain way. He has found meaning in the process of pursuit, not in the desired outcome. The points I hope to put across...
...remaining in the illusion of achievement (and the constant comparing). The latter is akin to chasing ghosts for the rest of one's life. And a lot of consistent and chronic suffering. .. Yes, it's a hard question. One of the hardest. But the potential upside to pondering it cannot be overestimated. That upside is true freedom. Joyful Sunday 💚 Ivan PS: If you want my help implementing any of the concepts and ideas I share here, go to IvanNikolov.com/chat. Here are other ways I can help. IvanNikolov.com | Elev8 Tribe | YouTube | LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook |
Ivan Nikolov
Guiding nonconformist overachievers navigating midlife burnout and crisis, seeking peace, purpose, and a renewed sense of direction. If you wish to receive my emails, subscribe below...
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